Are You There?


Dear Readers,

My family believes that my being “gay” means that I have turned my back on my faith and that nothing I have been taught in the church matters much anymore. They feel that my life is full sin and that I am an abomination. And according to scriptures in the Bible, they may be right. However, I do not believe it. Why would God make me have these feelings, if I were not to use them to feel? According to the Bible, I was made in God’s image, to be compassionate, to love, and to be loved—LOVE is actually the most commonly used word in the Bible. It outranks all other words, including hate, sin, and abomination. Yet, the focus of my life was to be reflected by those negative words in their eyes.

Sincerely, The Open Closet


PS. THIS IS JUST AN EXCERPT FROM MY BOOK: “The Open Closet: Letters From A Gay Man” (Available on AMAZON & KINDLE)

If you enjoyed reading this letter and would like to read more, please consider purchasing a copy and help spread awareness of issues  plaguing the LGBT community.



15 thoughts on “Are You There?

  1. Another great blog, David. I stayed away from organized religion for over 12 years after coming out at age 40. Then I googled “gay friendly church” and Tim and I found a wonderful church at St. Paul United Church of Christ in Barrington. God works wonders; as on the Sunday we first attended they were having a social meeting in their fellowship hall after the service to discuss their desire to be a more open and affirming congregation – welcoming all of God’s people; including their gay and lesbian members openly. I ended up standing up and discussing my journey as a formerly married man with children and grandchildren and my long struggle with who I was. God is still speaking is the philosophy of the UCC churches and you can find solace and peace by attending a church. Lately, I have been very busy with theatre as well as many singing gigs over the Christmas holiday and we have not been back to church in over 2 months. In the absence of not attending church I have felt like I was still doing God’s work as I took my faith and lived it in the day to day occurrences I had with the people I was singing for or entertaining on stage. We don’t need a building to call our selves Christian or whatever religion we were raised in but yes, attending church can make you feel recognized as a member of God’s people. Many churches accept your attendance but they are praying for you; love the sinner – hate the sin kind of thinking. That is a church we don’t attend. Sometimes I smile as I think of how God must sit in a puzzlement of how so many “Christians” are so wrong and still have not received His message of loving all of humanity and recognizing differences as the way it has all been planned. God does not make mistakes and he surely made us as he had planned. Love your openness and keep up the wonderful writings.

    1. Thank you Larry for sharing your experience—I have found a few local churches that I think might be a good fit for us through Google searching. I appreciate your continued support and encouragement! thanks for reading!

  2. Enjoyed reading that post. I was brought up in a religious family as well so I found a lot in common with what you wrote. Been meaning to write something like this but you seem to have beaten me to it haha. What faith/religion/church/denomination were your family apart of if you don’t mind me asking?

    1. Don’t worry Joe I didn’t conquer the market on writing about the LGBT community and the church, there are still plenty more experiences worth writing about! To answer you question, there is nothing you could ask that is too personal, after all I am the “Open Closet”—I was raised in the Church of Christ (Christian belief) and we followed the writings of the New Testament from the New King James version Bible. Practically the ‘Bible-Belt” religion of the Midwest!!!

      1. I will write about my experience soon. I’ve literally pushed all that stuff and that time of my life out of my head so it means dredging it all back to the surface again which is putting me off.
        Ahh, I was raised a Christian too, I was in a Jehovah’s Witness congregation till I was 20.

  3. As there’s no reasonable evidence that the bible is anything but mythology and that the Christian god is one of thousands of gods invited by humans in an age of ignorance… You could consider dedicating ‘church time’ to finding practical ways of making your own life and those of others better 😉 btw, welcome to the club.

    1. Thank you Pink—this blog is actually taking a lot of my “free time” between work and finishing my BA degree—but I have found it very therapeutic and good for my soul! Eventually, I may be so inclined to join an LGBT sports team or fine arts group to meet more people. So far though, I am enjoying being part of the club 😉 Thanks for reading and sharing!

  4. Good evening, O.C. Been feeling under the weather here this week but finally felt like catching up on a few select blogs which I’ve missed having a chance to read in the last few days. Thank you for sharing this one with me and all your mutually respectable readers and likewise, I’m glad to see that you’re making a mark in the world with the choices you’ve chosen to commit to and I sincerely hope the points in life that you reach are self-satisfying and provoke a model of purpose in others. With all that being said, I’m certain you will continue to inspire others out there to be true to who they are and true to what they believe — no matter their course through life. G. ~

    1. Thank you Gregory! I am sorry to hear that you have been under the weather, but, i suppose it is the season 😦 I hope you feel better soon, and thanks for following my blog! I am so happy that it is an inspiration to others and a good read, as it is very much a joy to write it and interact with people like you! Thanks for your support! Best wishes my friend!

  5. Hello, my friend, I hope your weekend is going well. It is freezing over here and I’m sure for you it’s also quite frigid! Interestingly enough, I was thinking of writing a post about religion and spirituality this morning in the shower. So, with your inspiration lighting my path I may have to tackle this topic in the near future. I was raised Presbyterian and I must say I was lucky to have been surrounded by a lovely congregation full of generally kind people. But in my family, and my church, religion always felt like a tool to help you through this life. It was not the end all be all word. Not to say that God was not very important, but I never felt pressure to make him love me. These religious paths where the church, and thus God, seem mean, overpowering, controlling and pushy always amazed me. For me, the God in these scenarios is always upset, mad and furrowing his brow. Why would anyone want to follow or be inspired by that? In my opinion, there is a singular truth under all religions and I feel that spirituality is so important to have in our lives. Are these judgmental people really happy? Shouldn’t God be wearing a smile while he loves us, instead of a frown? Because, as you point out, isn’t the point of all of this supposed to be to love? Isn’t that what it is all about? I guess that is just my two cents. Thank you for making me think, as always.

    1. You are entirely welcome my friend—you are actually the second person to comment that I have beaten them to the punches when it comes to writing about religion. As you pointed out, there are many different views an individual can have through their own experiences with religion, so I am sure you will also write a notably interesting and thought-provoking post. I actually forgot to mention a documentary I’ve recently watched about religion versus the LGBT community issues called “Fish Out of Water” which explores bible versus that condemn “homosexuality” and “same-sex marriage” but, how each verse is transferable through different religions, some being taught that it is okay, while others see it as a sin. This might be a great addition to your post. You should check it out—also available on Netflix! 🙂 FYI it is freezing in Chicago…the wind alone is almost unbearable on sunny days LOL You mentioned that it is frigid where you are—where are you Adam? Thank you again for reading and sharing…until next time my friend, best wishes!

  6. God is there and I have not lost faith. Despite the views of the Archbishop of this diocese, there are churches that are accepting, have diverse congregations and I know one that even has a gay group that hosts a specific mass at a Catholic church. The so called anti gay passages in the Bible may not mean what some people think. As we can not read the ancient Aramaic that many of the oldest texts were written in, we are not sure of the translation. Some scholars feel the most frequently cited text about man should not lay with man like woman could have been referring to male prostitutes rather than homosexuality. There are scholarly sites that discuss this. There are also plenty of crackpot websites to say the opposite. It would not be hard to believe that the difficult job of translation contained the translator’s personal prejudices. We know there are many things in the Bible that were never meant to be taken literally, but were fables to make a particular point. I am not sure God would approve of some of the interpretations of his work.

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