My Life as a Musical in 3 Acts


I sat on the stage floor and spoke the first line directly to the audience. I was hurting, like I’d never hurt before, or maybe I had, but, this was the first time I allowed others to see it. I was missing something, someone—a heart, to make my own beat again. I cried out as I jumped to my feet. I softened my voice and began to sing, as the tears fell from my cheek. I was angry at myself for becoming so cold, so distant, and so self-involved. I was angry because I was trapped—that the walls were closing in around me, and that the web of lies that I had weaved so carefully were becoming tangled like chains to a prisoner. I never felt so many emotions in one song, as I had before—and when I was done, my heart ached and I was out of breath. The crowd stood in ovation applauding in appreciation and praise—they had listened, and felt the message that I was trying to convey. “I am dying alone…help me be alive!”


PS. THIS IS JUST AN EXCERPT FROM MY BOOK: “The Open Closet: Letters From A Gay Man” (Available on AMAZON & KINDLE)

If you enjoyed reading this letter and would like to read more, please consider purchasing a copy and help spread awareness of issues  plaguing the LGBT community.



9 thoughts on “My Life as a Musical in 3 Acts

  1. Reblogged this on DCTdesigns Creative Canvas and commented:
    As a thespian I can say there are days and moments when a character, a performance, meld with life so completely we are transformed. I used to say Theater Studies was the best therapy I ever had. But when this magic happens, this transformation into self, the results are often showstopping. And if you ask me this post sums up why it is so important we remember to be alive.

    1. Thank you! It is just one of those moments when you know you have achieved your goal…knowing you are not pretending anymore…you are the character. I appreciate your comment and for sharing my post with others!

  2. The song also spoke to me. I used it once as a basis for a blog entry, weaving the lyrics throughout. As always, you have done a wonderful job relaying your story. I will stand and applaud also.

  3. I first heard this song on glee, one of my favorite shows to date. And it was like one of those defining moments in movies with the background music as Being Alive. It did more than speak to me, it called me to action to finally come to terms with who I am. With what I want for myself. Where I see myself going. I felt it fall into place for that moment.

    I’d have loved to see your version of it. Thanks for writing this, it couldn’t have come at a better time. Feel like you’re doing too much but that it doesn’t seem to matter-I’ve been feeling that lately. Like what I do… Its a lot. But it just doesn’t seem to be meaning anything to anyone. Dead man walking. I’d love so much to Be Alive right now.

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