For his 25th birthday, my boyfriend decided to visit a psychic, thinking that a spiritual reading would be a good way to purge his soul of negative energy and examine his life’s direction. She said, “You have a partner—He is your soul mate, and you are meant to be together.” However, she could see that he was troubled, and that in his life he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. As she continued, she said, “Unless you remove these negative energies from your life—your relationship will not last.”
I sat in bewilderment of all the truths the psychic was able to bring to light. I knew he was unhappy with his job, as we had discussed it many times before. In my reassurance I told him to “keep holding on” and to “be patient” because I knew something better would eventually come along. I also knew how my parent’s felt about our relationship, and the stress that it caused me, however, I did not realize how much stress was reflected upon him. As unlikely as it was, the mantra “it will not last” was one of the many hurtful things my parents had said about our relationship before I moved to Chicago. Their reasoning being, that my boyfriend would use me “to get what he wanted” before moving on to someone else. I remembered that line, and throughout the first few months of our relationship, it spun around in my brain like a record on a player, never stopping.
Sincerely, The Open Closet
PS. THIS IS JUST AN EXCERPT FROM MY BOOK: “The Open Closet: Letters From A Gay Man” (Available on AMAZON & KINDLE)
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